thoughts have been wondering in my minds for quite sometimes, to let go or not to let go.
knowing it’s wrong to start yet we did it. and yes, we’ve been even closer till it’s hard for us to let go now.
i knew i shouldnt be a home-wrecked in the first place.
i should’ve thought of his status, his family, his kids and wife. i mean his legal wife
the days we had together is a fruitful memorable for me, the stuffs he gave, the promises he kept and everything that make me wouldnt want to leave him even more.

knowing what is right or wrong now, i’ve become a muddle-head.
i force myself to sleep everynight, i force myself not to miss you but i failed.
i need to do a self-reflection, but its seems to be contradiction.

the ever first birthday that i really enjoy myself, the ever first candle-light dinner i had, thanks for the memories dear. yes at times, we fought over jealously
the pressure i had, the insult i’ve overheard, i endure its because i love you.
i learnt to control my emotion, i changed because of you.. to be more reasonable and understanding.
you are the person that i doesnt wish to upset or hurt, because im afraid to lose you.

there’s always a ending in every games, and i guessed it times to be game-over
i wouldnt want you to betray your family because of me, seriously im already contented to have you for the past 7mths. i’m already satisfied.

if you still remember there’s once i ever say this to you,
if there’s next life between us, i want to be your wife and be with you offically.

i would love to confide, sorry JL.
i think i couldnt love you, its because the scar is in me.
things you have done for me, i appreciate.
you deserve someone more better than me.
i couldnt bring myself to hurt you.

friends.. i always thought that i have countless of friends..
but im wrong..
the only friend that stood by me, and love me, is my long time good friend.
she’s the one who would lend me her shoulder when i feel like crying..
thanks pamela for always being there me, and never forsake me..

Debts.. soon, i will have it cleared.
my loads seems to be lighter each day.

2years has passed, it’s the time for me to bid spi.
i wouldnt want to leave actually, or maybe it’s an act of impulse?
i do not know?
my bff left because of her reason due to she’s station at office, while i’m not connected to them.
it’s so flexible at my side. seriously, i’m so comfortable with my current colleagues at airport.
too bad, it’s time for me to move on into a bigger company, bigger prospect and better salary.
who are the humans? who are the ghosts? i do not know.
i hae been givin a raise and a promotion, and yet i’ve left.
hoping i do not make the wrong decision.

Ceva, here i come.
hoping to have nice colleagues like daniel, fang fang and gou gou.
i miss you guys loads.

the very same day for last year, he callled and sang for me 4 languages of birthday song.
and this he promised me that he would do this for me every year without fail.
i guessed i shouldnt hope on this anymore. he no longer need me, he no longer remember my birthday.
he had his life for now and i’ve my new life for now.

i bet he’s having a good life and good relationship with his current girlfriend now.
i cant destroy their relationship, though we have once been ups and downs.
but it’s over.

the only thing i regret was… i left without bidding a proper goodbye…

这熟悉的天气
留在深处的记忆
似乎那次我们相遇
是缘分前世的累积
那曾经的旋律
却不能再次响起
是否我们无法逃避
早已注定的结局
而距离
我们在不同轨迹
再多的努力也是悲戚
在心底千万次的练习
千万次不停的温习
只怕已来不及
只是还没告诉你对不起我爱你
没有你我无法呼吸
我不能看你泪流了几公里
只是我还没有鼓足勇气
还没告诉你对不起我爱你
就算有一天脱离了身体
我依然这样的死心塌地

这熟悉的天气
留在深处的记忆
似乎那次我们相遇
是缘分前世的累积
那曾经的旋律
却不能再次响起
是否我们无法逃避
早已注定的结局
而距离
我们在不同轨迹
再多的努力也是悲戚
在心底千万次的练习
千万次不停的温习
只怕已来不及
只是还没告诉你对不起我爱你
没有你我无法呼吸
我不能看你泪流了几公里
只是我还没有鼓足勇气
还没告诉你对不起我爱你
就算有一天脱离了身体
我依然这样的死心塌地

我不能听信别人为我做好的安排
我知道现在的你对我有多么的依赖
我相信你一定还在原地为我等待
因为你而我存在别离开我的爱

还没告诉你对不起我爱你
没有你我无法呼吸
我不能看你泪流了几公里
只是我还没有鼓足勇气
还没告诉你对不起我爱你
没有你我无法呼吸
我不能看你泪流了几公里
只是我还没有鼓足勇气
还没告诉你对不起我爱你
就算有一天脱离了身体
我依然无法与你分离
还要和你继续在一起
对你说声那句我—-爱你

i wish you a happy 26th birthday, all the best to you.
hope that this time you could turn over a new leaf.
please do not treat your girlfriend like me on how you treat me.
i’ll give you my blessing.

A total of 4mths, we lost contact.
i lost my phone, and change my number eventually.
i didn’t gave you, it’s because i wanted to forget you – because you had your life now, i wouldn’t want to pester you anymore.
not knowing whether will you be searching high and low for me or maybe you did call or sms my old number.
sorry, i just want to forget you.. it’s because i love you too much, till now.. my heart is still with you.
please forgive me for not contacting you.

please led a better life then before.
please learn to smile.
please learn to take care of yourself when you’re sick.

met my hubby at ipoh airport, and he pick me up.
to be frank speaking – i was kinda shock when i met him, not going to describe not commented.
look doesn’t matter to me anymore – as long as he really love me.

he love me more than anything else – i cant imagine a guy would shed a tears for me.

after what ‘he’ done to me – i offically gave up on him.
just take it a lesson for me, too trusting and too naive.

a new life with my hubby, gotten work hard and pay all my debts.
shall move in with him, once i settled everything.

iloveyou – K.L Lee

i always thought of taking revenge onto him, but i hestitated.
i stay strong, i try not to cry, wanted to tell him.. i’m still waiting for him.
i try not to think of the memories we left behind but can’t.

i cant live without him,
i just need him to love and pamper me, nothing else.

iloveyou.

anyway, my colleagues told me…
to forget a person is to blend in the hatred.
i guess that is true.
if a guy really love you, he wouldn’t use you to do this and that..

i have to accept the facts and learn to stand up again.